When Is It Time To Break Up?
It can be difficult to know when a break up is the best thing for everyone. There are so many reasons why a relationship may be failing and sometimes these things can be worked on. Other times though, breaking up is the only way to go but it can be difficult to distinguish just when is the right time to cut all ties and finish the relationship for good.
You may wonder how to know when it's time to break up but every scenario is different; only the two of you will know the problems you are facing and whether you can get through them. However, if a few things keep cropping up on the list, perhaps it is time to finally say goodbye.
Are Either Of You Making An Effort?
Effort is key in relationships and all too often people can get comfortable and forget to put as much effort in anymore. Whether it is you or your partner that is neglecting the relationship, something needs to be done about it. It is bound to be making the other partner unhappy. You may be wondering how to break up with your girlfriend or boyfriend in this situation and it may not be easy – the best way is to sit down and discuss it as adults. You may want to see if there is still any longevity in the relationship but if it is clear that the writing is on the wall, you need to make the break up as quick and painfree as possible. It can be tempting to throw things and fight when breaking up, especially if you are the one being broken up with but ultimately break ups happen mostly for the right reasons and that will become clear to you both one day.
Take the time to sit down and discuss where you have gone wrong. Get some clarity and take some tips on board for future relationships so you or they don't make the same mistake again.
Are You Fighting All The Time?
Breaking up with someone you live with is probably the most difficult type of breakup of all. It can be a lot easier to break up with someone you don't live with as you have your safe space to run back to – but when your safe space is also inhabited by the person you are trying to avoid, it can cause a lot of tension.
Couples fight – plenty fight all the time even if they are not living together – but living together certainly intensifies the arguments. If a break up is what you both truly want, it is so important not to let the decision descend into another row as there is a lot more to consider than the two of you breaking up – are you still going to live together or is someone going to move out? If someone is moving out, who will it be? What do you do with items that you bought together?
It can be incredibly tempting to have a dramatic break up, throwing things out of your house or apartment and slamming the door – but that won't make anyone feel good in the long run. Since you both made an adult decision to move in together, the break up also needs to be dealt with in an adult way – making important decisions as to living arrangements for the both of you.
Can You Still Imagine A Future Together?
A big clue for when to end a relationship is if neither of you can still imagine your future together. If the whole idea leaves you cold, it is best to finish the relationship now by sitting down and discussing it like adults. There is no point ruining your futures by carrying on whilst you are both clearly unhappy. Make the break like adults and create a new future for yourself. Whether you decide to stay friends is up to the two of you but don't deny yourselves a better future for the sake of nostalgia.
There is no point hanging onto the past when there is a whole wide world out there to explore and where ‘the one' could potentially be waiting for you, perhaps on a site like iwantu.com. Why waste time on an already failing relationship when you can get out and meet someone new and perhaps even stay friends with your former partner if you realize it is not working in time? Not everyone will want to remain friends with their exes but friendships can bloom very occasionally. Wasting time on a relationship that isn't working will only lead to animosity and resentment and ultimately make the whole doomed relationship even worse. Nip it in the bud and save yourself both some dignity and grace.